1 00:00:00,522 --> 00:00:01,612 - Warning. 2 00:00:01,652 --> 00:00:02,832 The following program contains really 3 00:00:02,870 --> 00:00:05,570 course language, weed, alcohol consumption, 4 00:00:05,609 --> 00:00:08,309 smoking and sexual inferences. 5 00:00:08,348 --> 00:00:09,908 This content may not be suitable 6 00:00:09,957 --> 00:00:11,777 for viewers under 18. 7 00:00:11,826 --> 00:00:13,436 To activate parental controls, 8 00:00:13,478 --> 00:00:14,268 Please press the 9 00:00:14,304 --> 00:00:15,344 go [beep] yourself button 10 00:00:15,391 --> 00:00:16,691 on your remote control. 11 00:00:29,087 --> 00:00:30,647 - I remember in the intermission last night 12 00:00:30,696 --> 00:00:31,736 I was trying to find 13 00:00:31,783 --> 00:00:34,093 some fun facts about 14 00:00:34,130 --> 00:00:35,140 animals. 15 00:00:35,174 --> 00:00:36,524 I was trying to 16 00:00:36,565 --> 00:00:37,875 - Fun facts about animals? 17 00:00:37,913 --> 00:00:39,133 - Yeah, yeah! 18 00:00:39,174 --> 00:00:40,874 - Why were you doing that? 19 00:00:40,913 --> 00:00:42,093 - I was thinking about getting a new pet 20 00:00:42,130 --> 00:00:42,740 and I wanted to 21 00:00:43,913 --> 00:00:45,433 research things about different ones. 22 00:00:45,478 --> 00:00:46,748 - Ricky. 23 00:00:46,783 --> 00:00:47,913 Find out what's a good pet. 24 00:00:47,957 --> 00:00:49,397 My pants are falling off. 25 00:00:49,435 --> 00:00:50,395 - [Bubbles] Well pull them up. 26 00:00:50,435 --> 00:00:51,605 Do you have underwear on? 27 00:00:51,652 --> 00:00:52,652 - [Ricky] Who knows? 28 00:00:54,478 --> 00:00:55,048 It's flip of a coin. 29 00:00:55,087 --> 00:00:56,397 [Ricky laughs] 30 00:00:56,435 --> 00:00:58,005 - You don't know if you have underwear on or not? 31 00:00:58,043 --> 00:00:58,873 [Ricky sighs] 32 00:00:58,913 --> 00:00:59,703 - Can you feel them? 33 00:00:59,739 --> 00:01:00,389 - Oh yeah. 34 00:01:00,435 --> 00:01:01,645 No, I do. 35 00:01:01,696 --> 00:01:03,086 - Well. Can't you feel that you have under? 36 00:01:03,130 --> 00:01:05,440 I mean, I always know when I have underwear on. 37 00:01:07,130 --> 00:01:08,480 Jesus. 38 00:01:08,522 --> 00:01:09,392 - Uh. 39 00:01:09,435 --> 00:01:11,225 What did you guys want to do? 40 00:01:11,261 --> 00:01:13,221 - I don't know that, just, I'm reading a story here. 41 00:01:13,261 --> 00:01:15,401 It kind of reminds me of something that you would do. 42 00:01:15,435 --> 00:01:16,955 - [Ricky] Who me? 43 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:18,000 - Yeah. Remember how you used to go on like, 44 00:01:18,043 --> 00:01:19,563 fuck, I want to get a Bulletproof vest 45 00:01:19,609 --> 00:01:20,389 and start, you know 46 00:01:20,435 --> 00:01:21,175 I wanna get shot by one? 47 00:01:21,217 --> 00:01:22,437 - [Ricky] Yeah. 48 00:01:22,478 --> 00:01:24,738 - We're like, no, Ricky, it it fuckin', it hurts. 49 00:01:24,783 --> 00:01:26,003 Like you can break ribs and shit. 50 00:01:26,043 --> 00:01:26,953 - You don't get dead. 51 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:28,130 - Yeah. But still, 52 00:01:28,174 --> 00:01:29,524 you don't want to get fuckin' shot, man. 53 00:01:29,565 --> 00:01:30,655 It's just, it's not normal. 54 00:01:30,696 --> 00:01:32,866 - What if they shoot you in the neck? 55 00:01:32,913 --> 00:01:34,303 by accident? Then 56 00:01:34,348 --> 00:01:36,268 - You have to get a Bulletproof scarf. 57 00:01:36,304 --> 00:01:37,874 - Anyway, these two guys were drinking. 58 00:01:37,913 --> 00:01:38,963 They're neighbors. 59 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:40,350 They were like, they put on the vest. 60 00:01:40,391 --> 00:01:42,051 They're like, let's shoot each other. 61 00:01:42,087 --> 00:01:42,957 See what it feels like. 62 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:44,570 - Some fuckin' tough guys. 63 00:01:45,435 --> 00:01:46,175 - One guy shot the guy. 64 00:01:46,217 --> 00:01:47,487 Right? And it hurt so 65 00:01:47,522 --> 00:01:49,302 It hurt him so fuckin' bad 66 00:01:49,348 --> 00:01:50,298 that buddy picks 67 00:01:50,348 --> 00:01:52,648 up a fuckin' rifle and shoots him 68 00:01:52,696 --> 00:01:54,346 like unloads the whole fuckin' 69 00:01:54,391 --> 00:01:56,741 clip at the guy's vest. 70 00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:57,393 - What? 71 00:01:57,435 --> 00:01:58,435 - And killed him. 72 00:01:58,478 --> 00:01:59,218 - [Julian] He didn't kill him, no. 73 00:01:59,261 --> 00:01:59,741 But it fucked him up. 74 00:01:59,783 --> 00:02:00,873 - Oh my God. 75 00:02:00,913 --> 00:02:01,743 - Went to the hospital and said they got 76 00:02:01,783 --> 00:02:03,183 into a gunfight with somebody 77 00:02:04,261 --> 00:02:05,001 [Ricky laughs] 78 00:02:05,043 --> 00:02:06,343 and they were like, no 79 00:02:06,391 --> 00:02:07,521 you guys are just fuckin' shooting at each other. 80 00:02:07,565 --> 00:02:08,305 And they were like, yeah. 81 00:02:08,348 --> 00:02:09,168 Okay. We fuckin' did that. 82 00:02:09,217 --> 00:02:10,647 Anyway. They're going to jail. 83 00:02:10,696 --> 00:02:11,176 - That's fucked up. 84 00:02:11,217 --> 00:02:11,777 - For what? 85 00:02:11,826 --> 00:02:13,216 - Don't know, man. 86 00:02:13,261 --> 00:02:15,141 - I guess you're not allowed to shoot at each other. 87 00:02:15,174 --> 00:02:15,914 - You're not allowed to shoot at, at each other. 88 00:02:15,957 --> 00:02:16,957 Yeah. 89 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:18,170 - Even with Bulletproof vents on. 90 00:02:19,435 --> 00:02:20,395 Bulletproof scarf's 91 00:02:20,435 --> 00:02:21,215 - Exciting. 92 00:02:21,261 --> 00:02:22,611 - Not a bad idea, actually. 93 00:02:22,652 --> 00:02:24,832 - Bulletproof gloves? 94 00:02:24,870 --> 00:02:26,220 - Bulletproof gloves, yeah. 95 00:02:26,261 --> 00:02:28,691 - Cause you're always getting defensive wounds. 96 00:02:28,739 --> 00:02:29,559 - Yeah. 97 00:02:30,565 --> 00:02:31,825 Bulletproof gloves. 98 00:02:31,870 --> 00:02:32,960 - [Ricky] Bulletproof. 99 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:34,090 - If you fuckin' try to stop a bullet 100 00:02:34,130 --> 00:02:35,610 with your bulletproof fuckin' gloves, 101 00:02:35,652 --> 00:02:36,612 [Ricky laughs] 102 00:02:36,652 --> 00:02:38,562 your good hand would be fucked. 103 00:02:38,609 --> 00:02:40,039 It would just be all mangled up inside. 104 00:02:40,087 --> 00:02:40,957 And you'd take it out 105 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:42,050 and in your hand would be fucked. 106 00:02:42,087 --> 00:02:42,787 - Would it, though? 107 00:02:42,826 --> 00:02:44,046 - Kind of, man. 108 00:02:44,087 --> 00:02:45,787 - What if you put on two Bulletproof gloves? 109 00:02:45,826 --> 00:02:46,476 - Bubs, so you're still like 110 00:02:46,522 --> 00:02:47,652 - A small and a large. 111 00:02:47,696 --> 00:02:48,566 - you're not catching a fuckin' baseball. 112 00:02:48,609 --> 00:02:49,699 - [Ricky] Or a Bulletproof glove 113 00:02:49,739 --> 00:02:50,609 and then a Bulletproof mitten 114 00:02:50,652 --> 00:02:51,702 over the whole thing. 115 00:02:51,739 --> 00:02:53,659 - Boys, it's still gonna break the f- 116 00:02:53,696 --> 00:02:55,396 It's gonna shatter your fuckin' hand. 117 00:02:55,435 --> 00:02:56,915 - Maybe. Maybe not. 118 00:02:58,043 --> 00:02:58,823 - Depends on. 119 00:02:58,870 --> 00:02:59,650 - Let's try. 120 00:02:59,696 --> 00:03:00,476 Do you wanna try? 121 00:03:00,522 --> 00:03:01,312 - No. 122 00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:01,908 I don't. 123 00:03:01,956 --> 00:03:02,996 But I bet you 124 00:03:03,043 --> 00:03:04,563 you could look it up on MythBusters. 125 00:03:04,609 --> 00:03:05,609 I bet you 126 00:03:05,652 --> 00:03:06,432 - I bet we can get Corey or Jacob 127 00:03:06,478 --> 00:03:08,008 to fuckin' try it. 128 00:03:08,043 --> 00:03:09,303 Well of course you could. 129 00:03:09,348 --> 00:03:10,998 - All right, let's try it then sometime. 130 00:03:11,043 --> 00:03:13,353 - All you'd have to do is promise 'em something. 131 00:03:13,391 --> 00:03:14,531 - And you've gotta make up a 132 00:03:14,565 --> 00:03:16,395 Bulletproof fuckin' glove. 133 00:03:16,435 --> 00:03:17,875 Good luck with that one. 134 00:03:17,913 --> 00:03:19,483 - I tell you, I named my beaver? 135 00:03:20,696 --> 00:03:21,606 - Hmm. 136 00:03:21,652 --> 00:03:22,482 No. 137 00:03:22,522 --> 00:03:23,702 - Calling him Nickel. 138 00:03:23,739 --> 00:03:25,049 - [Bubbles] Nickel. 139 00:03:25,087 --> 00:03:27,177 - [Ricky] Yep. Just picture him on every nickel. 140 00:03:27,217 --> 00:03:28,357 - [Bubbles] I get it. I know. 141 00:03:28,391 --> 00:03:31,091 There's a beaver on the Canadian nickel. 142 00:03:31,130 --> 00:03:32,870 - [Ricky] What's up, Nickel? 143 00:03:32,913 --> 00:03:34,123 [Bubble laughs] 144 00:03:34,174 --> 00:03:35,134 - [Ricky In High Pitched Voice] Sending it out! 145 00:03:35,174 --> 00:03:36,394 - [Julian] Cool dude. 146 00:03:36,435 --> 00:03:38,305 What a horrible fuckin' name. Nickel. 147 00:03:38,348 --> 00:03:39,388 - Nickel. 148 00:03:39,435 --> 00:03:40,915 And he talks like that, does he? In a 149 00:03:40,956 --> 00:03:42,176 - [Ricky In High Pitched Voice] Yeah. 150 00:03:42,217 --> 00:03:43,177 He talks like this. 151 00:03:43,217 --> 00:03:44,697 Hey Bubbs. 152 00:03:44,739 --> 00:03:46,009 - Hey Nickel. 153 00:03:46,043 --> 00:03:47,303 - [High Pitched Voice] You got any treats? 154 00:03:47,348 --> 00:03:48,298 Beaver treats? 155 00:03:48,348 --> 00:03:50,088 - I don't have any beaver treats. 156 00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:50,910 [Ricky laughs] 157 00:03:50,956 --> 00:03:51,736 I'll bring some next time. 158 00:03:51,783 --> 00:03:52,833 Some beaver jerky. 159 00:03:54,217 --> 00:03:55,007 Where you going? 160 00:03:55,043 --> 00:03:56,343 - Just checking on 161 00:03:56,391 --> 00:03:57,211 what you got in the fridge here, man. 162 00:03:58,565 --> 00:03:59,355 - [Ricky] All right. 163 00:03:59,391 --> 00:04:00,651 - [Julian] You want some quick 164 00:04:00,696 --> 00:04:03,866 we got some quick fries. Full bottle of vodka. 165 00:04:03,913 --> 00:04:04,693 - Do you want a quick fry? 166 00:04:04,739 --> 00:04:05,699 - There you go. 167 00:04:05,739 --> 00:04:06,529 That's gonna help you out, man. 168 00:04:06,565 --> 00:04:07,485 That's gonna keep you alive. 169 00:04:07,522 --> 00:04:08,302 You drink some of this. 170 00:04:08,348 --> 00:04:09,698 Okay. With vodka. 171 00:04:09,739 --> 00:04:10,869 That's what this is. 172 00:04:10,913 --> 00:04:12,183 - Well. I know. 173 00:04:12,217 --> 00:04:13,127 - You got some carrots down there. 174 00:04:13,174 --> 00:04:14,214 - [Ricky] No, man. 175 00:04:14,261 --> 00:04:15,871 You gotta go into the good section. 176 00:04:15,913 --> 00:04:17,523 - You could give carrots to Nickel. 177 00:04:17,565 --> 00:04:18,395 - [Ricky] Oh yeah. 178 00:04:18,435 --> 00:04:20,135 Now we're fuckin' talking. 179 00:04:21,391 --> 00:04:23,131 Egg rolls, baby. 180 00:04:23,174 --> 00:04:23,994 - All right. 181 00:04:25,739 --> 00:04:26,529 - You're cooking. 182 00:04:26,565 --> 00:04:27,355 Are you Ricky? 183 00:04:27,391 --> 00:04:28,171 In the middle of the show? 184 00:04:28,217 --> 00:04:28,997 [bang] 185 00:04:29,043 --> 00:04:29,653 - [Ricky] Quick fries? 186 00:04:29,696 --> 00:04:30,566 - Jesus! Murphy. 187 00:04:30,609 --> 00:04:31,569 - [Julian] You might wanna wrap, 188 00:04:31,609 --> 00:04:33,309 put like, use a Ziplock bag, man. 189 00:04:33,348 --> 00:04:35,478 You got freezer burn on all them. 190 00:04:35,522 --> 00:04:36,342 - Well, they're not bad. 191 00:04:36,391 --> 00:04:37,871 - How about some quick fries? 192 00:04:37,913 --> 00:04:39,743 Some sweet and sour pork 193 00:04:39,783 --> 00:04:41,263 and a couple egg rolls? 194 00:04:41,304 --> 00:04:42,124 Yeah! 195 00:04:43,870 --> 00:04:44,740 Fuck off. 196 00:04:44,783 --> 00:04:46,043 - [Julian] Jesus Christ, man. 197 00:04:46,087 --> 00:04:48,097 - [Bubbles] Ricky, you're gonna break your leg. 198 00:04:48,130 --> 00:04:49,610 These have a little bit of freezer burn, 199 00:04:49,652 --> 00:04:51,482 but they're not bad. 200 00:04:51,522 --> 00:04:53,092 Oh, those are the bear pollen ones too. 201 00:04:53,130 --> 00:04:53,960 I like those. 202 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:55,010 - I don't have a microwave. 203 00:04:55,043 --> 00:04:57,003 Is the only problem. 204 00:04:57,043 --> 00:04:58,353 - Where's your microwave? 205 00:04:58,391 --> 00:04:59,171 - I don't know. 206 00:04:59,217 --> 00:05:00,607 I think I sold it. 207 00:05:02,696 --> 00:05:05,086 - You don't know where your microwave is? 208 00:05:05,130 --> 00:05:06,430 - [Ricky] Do you see it anywhere? 209 00:05:07,435 --> 00:05:08,785 - Don't know, but 210 00:05:08,826 --> 00:05:09,836 [metal rattling] 211 00:05:09,870 --> 00:05:10,870 - How can't you remember whether 212 00:05:10,912 --> 00:05:12,092 you fuckin' sold the thing or not? 213 00:05:12,130 --> 00:05:13,660 - I have a weird memory 214 00:05:13,696 --> 00:05:15,346 about smashing the fuckin' thing. 215 00:05:15,391 --> 00:05:16,261 - [Julian] You smashed it? 216 00:05:16,304 --> 00:05:17,564 - Here, Ricky, let, 217 00:05:17,609 --> 00:05:18,959 you know, stand this way. 218 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:20,040 So that people can, 219 00:05:20,087 --> 00:05:20,907 you know. 220 00:05:20,956 --> 00:05:21,736 - [Ricky] Like this? 221 00:05:21,783 --> 00:05:22,793 - Well just, you know 222 00:05:22,826 --> 00:05:24,086 I just want people to be able to 223 00:05:24,130 --> 00:05:25,010 see what you're doing. 224 00:05:25,043 --> 00:05:25,823 That's all. 225 00:05:25,870 --> 00:05:27,390 - [Ricky] Uh. Fuck. 226 00:05:28,609 --> 00:05:29,429 Ugh. 227 00:05:31,739 --> 00:05:32,919 - You still don't know 228 00:05:32,956 --> 00:05:34,696 how to work your oven. Do ya? 229 00:05:36,565 --> 00:05:38,395 Showed you at least 50 times. 230 00:05:39,783 --> 00:05:42,003 - Aren't these supposed to be a different color? 231 00:05:42,043 --> 00:05:43,253 Yeah. It's supposed to be this color. 232 00:05:43,304 --> 00:05:44,524 - [Julian] That's what I'm saying. 233 00:05:44,565 --> 00:05:45,785 They got freezer burn, man. 234 00:05:45,826 --> 00:05:46,616 - What does that mean? 235 00:05:46,652 --> 00:05:47,482 - You gotta put 'em in a 236 00:05:47,522 --> 00:05:49,392 Ziploc bag. Wrap them up. 237 00:05:49,435 --> 00:05:50,705 - They're fine. 238 00:05:50,739 --> 00:05:51,699 Turn your blower on though, 239 00:05:51,739 --> 00:05:52,739 Ricky, or you're gonna 240 00:05:52,783 --> 00:05:54,343 fill the place with stink 241 00:05:55,348 --> 00:05:57,138 Quick fry stink. 242 00:05:57,174 --> 00:05:57,954 - Read this Randy. 243 00:05:58,000 --> 00:05:59,220 Which one? 244 00:05:59,261 --> 00:05:59,911 - Shitoscope. 245 00:05:59,956 --> 00:06:00,646 - Shitoscope. 246 00:06:00,696 --> 00:06:01,736 - All right, everybody. 247 00:06:01,783 --> 00:06:03,743 From the dictionary we have shitoscope. 248 00:06:03,783 --> 00:06:04,563 Okay? 249 00:06:04,609 --> 00:06:05,439 In 250 00:06:05,478 --> 00:06:06,268 - I'll drink to that. 251 00:06:06,304 --> 00:06:07,084 - Mr. Lahey, I'm reading! 252 00:06:07,130 --> 00:06:07,910 - [Mr. Lahey] I, I gotcha. 253 00:06:07,956 --> 00:06:08,786 - Shh! 254 00:06:09,826 --> 00:06:10,996 In grata 255 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:12,700 explorary 256 00:06:12,739 --> 00:06:13,569 surgery 257 00:06:13,609 --> 00:06:14,609 - [Mr. Lahey] That's Latman. 258 00:06:14,652 --> 00:06:15,652 - What's that, did I say it right? 259 00:06:15,696 --> 00:06:16,476 - [Mr. Lahey] Yeah, perfect, Randy. 260 00:06:16,522 --> 00:06:18,262 - Okay. It's a noun. N. 261 00:06:18,304 --> 00:06:20,004 an archaic instrument 262 00:06:20,043 --> 00:06:21,393 for viewing the bowel 263 00:06:21,435 --> 00:06:22,995 through the sphincter. 264 00:06:23,043 --> 00:06:24,083 Advanced models 265 00:06:24,130 --> 00:06:25,790 Come equipped with shit lights 266 00:06:25,826 --> 00:06:29,396 rectal dilators, bung oil and aprons. 267 00:06:29,435 --> 00:06:31,005 I don't get it, Mr. Lahey. 268 00:06:31,043 --> 00:06:31,833 Oh, there's 269 00:06:31,870 --> 00:06:34,090 Shitscopy right here. 270 00:06:34,130 --> 00:06:35,480 Shitoscopy? 271 00:06:35,522 --> 00:06:36,782 Shitoscopy. 272 00:06:36,826 --> 00:06:38,266 Enough, Mr. Lahey! Stop. 273 00:06:38,304 --> 00:06:39,304 - [Mr. Lahey] Shitoscopy. 274 00:06:39,348 --> 00:06:40,168 - Shitoscopy. 275 00:06:40,217 --> 00:06:41,697 [Mr. Lahey grunts] 276 00:06:41,739 --> 00:06:43,049 The science of rectal telemetry. 277 00:06:43,087 --> 00:06:43,917 Shh! 278 00:06:43,956 --> 00:06:44,736 [Mr. Lahey laughs] 279 00:06:44,783 --> 00:06:45,563 recently sidelined 280 00:06:45,609 --> 00:06:46,749 by the fecal finger. 281 00:06:46,783 --> 00:06:47,613 - Yeah. 282 00:06:47,652 --> 00:06:48,482 - Oh, and here's a poem. 283 00:06:48,522 --> 00:06:51,042 On my side I happily linger, 284 00:06:51,087 --> 00:06:52,997 as she applies her fecal finger. 285 00:06:53,043 --> 00:06:53,823 - Yeah. Bend over 286 00:06:53,869 --> 00:06:54,699 - By Luke Lipshits 287 00:06:54,739 --> 00:06:55,569 - Bend over. 288 00:06:55,609 --> 00:06:56,829 Let Lahey come over. 289 00:06:56,869 --> 00:06:57,999 - New Shit Yorker. January, 2011. 290 00:06:58,043 --> 00:06:59,223 That's pretty funny, Mr. Lahey. 291 00:06:59,261 --> 00:07:00,041 - Yeah. 292 00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:00,867 Okay. Can you guess 293 00:07:00,912 --> 00:07:01,222 what's in the box, Randy? 294 00:07:01,261 --> 00:07:02,611 - Coins! 295 00:07:02,652 --> 00:07:04,572 - It's related to the [slurs] shitoscopy, Randy. 296 00:07:04,609 --> 00:07:05,739 - Um. 297 00:07:05,783 --> 00:07:06,523 - This fuckin' piece of shit 298 00:07:06,565 --> 00:07:07,395 [bang] 299 00:07:07,435 --> 00:07:08,175 There it is, Randy. 300 00:07:08,217 --> 00:07:08,997 Guess what it is, bud? 301 00:07:09,043 --> 00:07:10,093 - [Randy] I think we need 302 00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:11,000 - [Mr. Lahey] Tada! 303 00:07:11,043 --> 00:07:11,833 Hold that. 304 00:07:11,869 --> 00:07:12,649 - It's a pair of scissors. 305 00:07:12,696 --> 00:07:13,996 - It, no, it's half. 306 00:07:14,043 --> 00:07:14,863 - Oh, it doesn't open. 307 00:07:14,912 --> 00:07:16,742 [Mr. Lahey belches] 308 00:07:16,783 --> 00:07:17,823 It's a tuning fork. 309 00:07:17,869 --> 00:07:18,649 [Mr. Lahey laughs] 310 00:07:18,696 --> 00:07:19,746 - It could be. 311 00:07:19,783 --> 00:07:20,653 [cling] 312 00:07:20,696 --> 00:07:21,436 What else do you think it is? 313 00:07:21,478 --> 00:07:22,478 [cling] 314 00:07:22,522 --> 00:07:23,312 - Boomchaka boomchaka! 315 00:07:23,348 --> 00:07:24,088 [cling cling cling] 316 00:07:24,130 --> 00:07:25,350 - Here try this. See. 317 00:07:25,391 --> 00:07:26,131 - Boomchaka Boomboppa 318 00:07:26,174 --> 00:07:27,004 [cling cling cling] 319 00:07:27,043 --> 00:07:27,823 Let me see, I can do this one. 320 00:07:27,869 --> 00:07:28,649 [Mr. Lahey laughs] 321 00:07:28,696 --> 00:07:30,576 [clinging noises] 322 00:07:30,609 --> 00:07:31,999 - [Mr. Lahey] Careful! 323 00:07:32,043 --> 00:07:32,433 You know what they are? 324 00:07:32,478 --> 00:07:33,868 [clinking] 325 00:07:33,912 --> 00:07:34,862 - [Mr. Lahey] Anybody out there in the audio radience 326 00:07:34,912 --> 00:07:36,742 Know what that little shitbag is? 327 00:07:36,783 --> 00:07:37,613 [clinking] 328 00:07:37,652 --> 00:07:38,432 Those are rectal dilators! 329 00:07:38,478 --> 00:07:39,518 [Mr. Lahey laughs] 330 00:07:39,565 --> 00:07:40,745 - What! 331 00:07:40,783 --> 00:07:42,793 Here, take these away from me, Mr. Lahey! 332 00:07:42,826 --> 00:07:45,006 [Mr. Lahey laughing] 333 00:07:45,043 --> 00:07:46,653 You we- That was mean! 334 00:07:46,696 --> 00:07:49,786 [Mr. Lahey laughing] 335 00:07:51,391 --> 00:07:52,181 Mr. Lahey. 336 00:07:53,261 --> 00:07:55,011 - Okay, Randy. 337 00:07:55,043 --> 00:07:56,523 Time for our word of the week. 338 00:07:56,565 --> 00:07:57,915 You want the big dictionary 339 00:07:57,956 --> 00:07:59,266 or the little dictionary? 340 00:07:59,304 --> 00:08:00,834 - I want the little dictionary, Mr. Lahey. 341 00:08:00,869 --> 00:08:03,569 - Don't forget! The synchronousy of [slurs] 342 00:08:03,609 --> 00:08:04,959 of they cov- the com 343 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,740 of the idiotics cosmos, Randy. 344 00:08:06,783 --> 00:08:08,303 Anything you point to do? 345 00:08:08,348 --> 00:08:09,958 That's in this dictionary 346 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:10,780 - Oh! 347 00:08:10,826 --> 00:08:11,606 is the magical magicus. 348 00:08:11,652 --> 00:08:12,482 - Ohh! 349 00:08:12,522 --> 00:08:13,312 - Do you want me to open 350 00:08:13,348 --> 00:08:14,438 I'll just open it at random? 351 00:08:14,478 --> 00:08:15,218 - Right there! 352 00:08:15,261 --> 00:08:16,081 - Right there? 353 00:08:16,130 --> 00:08:17,260 What, point to something. Point. 354 00:08:17,304 --> 00:08:18,354 Can you see? 355 00:08:18,391 --> 00:08:19,171 - It says 356 00:08:19,217 --> 00:08:19,997 - What? 357 00:08:20,043 --> 00:08:20,963 - Immeasurable. 358 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,390 - Your gut, Randy! 359 00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:23,215 Immeasurable. 360 00:08:23,261 --> 00:08:23,871 - Not measurable. 361 00:08:23,912 --> 00:08:24,432 Limitless. 362 00:08:24,478 --> 00:08:25,738 - Yeah, I know. 363 00:08:25,783 --> 00:08:28,353 Because you have the most wonderful epiphanous. 364 00:08:28,391 --> 00:08:29,781 - I grew two inches last year. 365 00:08:29,826 --> 00:08:30,866 It's true. 366 00:08:30,912 --> 00:08:34,002 From 44 and a half to 46 and a half. 367 00:08:34,043 --> 00:08:35,783 Randy's got his immeasurable. 368 00:08:35,826 --> 00:08:37,176 - Mr. Lahey, you gotta try this burger. 369 00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:38,007 [Mr Lahey in singing voice] immeasurable, measurable. 370 00:08:38,043 --> 00:08:39,653 [Mr. Lahey mumbles] 371 00:08:39,696 --> 00:08:41,956 [Mr. Lahey singing] 372 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:43,390 You know, that's that's what. 373 00:08:44,435 --> 00:08:45,695 Ohh, Randy. 374 00:08:45,739 --> 00:08:48,179 I gotta drink a toast to Randy's kitchen. 375 00:08:48,217 --> 00:08:50,777 Make your own burgers using shit. 376 00:08:50,826 --> 00:08:52,126 - I need my liquor. 377 00:08:52,174 --> 00:08:53,214 - Okay. Here, Randy. 378 00:08:53,261 --> 00:08:55,011 I think you drank it all bud. Here. 379 00:08:55,912 --> 00:08:57,952 - Here, Mr. Lahey I'll come. 380 00:08:58,000 --> 00:08:58,780 You could gave me a sippy poo. 381 00:08:58,825 --> 00:08:59,655 - Okay. 382 00:08:59,696 --> 00:09:00,646 Just a little sippy poo. 383 00:09:01,956 --> 00:09:02,956 [Mr. Lahey In Singing Voice] Randy Balandy. 384 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,010 His ass as sweet as candy. 385 00:09:05,043 --> 00:09:06,693 Randy Bobandy 386 00:09:06,739 --> 00:09:08,089 - Mr. Lahey! 387 00:09:08,130 --> 00:09:09,390 [whispers] Don't say that! 388 00:09:09,435 --> 00:09:11,005 - Okay. 389 00:09:11,043 --> 00:09:12,613 - Ooh! Fuck you. 390 00:09:12,652 --> 00:09:13,962 Head to toe health is kind of 391 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:14,920 what I'm known for. 392 00:09:14,956 --> 00:09:16,266 Like, like, you know, 393 00:09:16,304 --> 00:09:17,134 some of them guys are just 394 00:09:17,174 --> 00:09:18,134 all upper body and then 395 00:09:18,174 --> 00:09:19,174 they have little chicken legs, 396 00:09:19,217 --> 00:09:20,037 but I'm trying to like 397 00:09:20,087 --> 00:09:21,777 pretty be much be even. 398 00:09:21,825 --> 00:09:22,605 Hey, fuck, man 399 00:09:22,652 --> 00:09:23,742 I'm doing something. 400 00:09:23,783 --> 00:09:24,693 I'm trying to be like, even 401 00:09:24,739 --> 00:09:26,619 throughout my whole body, like, 402 00:09:26,652 --> 00:09:27,782 like watch this move. 403 00:09:29,217 --> 00:09:29,997 Like that. 404 00:09:30,043 --> 00:09:30,873 You know? 405 00:09:30,912 --> 00:09:32,092 Not a lot of guys can do that. 406 00:09:32,130 --> 00:09:32,790 You know? 407 00:09:32,825 --> 00:09:33,385 They'd be like, 408 00:09:33,435 --> 00:09:34,655 how'd you do that? 409 00:09:34,696 --> 00:09:36,266 And then it's like mental, physical strength 410 00:09:36,304 --> 00:09:37,394 all together. 411 00:09:37,435 --> 00:09:38,265 One more. 412 00:09:39,261 --> 00:09:40,571 Ugh! Fuck. 413 00:09:40,609 --> 00:09:41,699 Little slippery bitch. 414 00:09:44,261 --> 00:09:45,081 Ugh. 415 00:09:47,043 --> 00:09:49,783 [Grunting noses] 416 00:09:52,565 --> 00:09:54,475 [bang] 417 00:09:56,565 --> 00:09:58,305 What the fuck? 418 00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:00,258 [bang] 419 00:10:02,825 --> 00:10:03,995 What the fuck? 420 00:10:05,696 --> 00:10:06,526 Holy fuck. 421 00:10:14,478 --> 00:10:16,398 Yeah, so fuck, tonight's the night. 422 00:10:16,435 --> 00:10:19,135 I, I feel like it's an opportune time for me to 423 00:10:19,174 --> 00:10:20,304 fuckin' break free, 424 00:10:20,348 --> 00:10:21,128 get out, you know, 425 00:10:21,174 --> 00:10:22,254 fight for my life 426 00:10:22,304 --> 00:10:23,994 and fuck the prison life. 427 00:10:24,043 --> 00:10:24,823 So, you know, 428 00:10:24,869 --> 00:10:25,959 if you, if you read about me 429 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,210 in the news later, 430 00:10:27,261 --> 00:10:29,831 like, Terry's got a bullet in his back, like, 431 00:10:29,869 --> 00:10:31,129 just think 432 00:10:31,174 --> 00:10:33,124 of Bons Scott, like, you know, 433 00:10:33,174 --> 00:10:33,954 made it out. 434 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:34,830 It's all that mattered. 435 00:10:34,869 --> 00:10:35,959 I'm running for freedom tonight. 436 00:10:37,261 --> 00:10:39,171 So probably won't see you again there, 437 00:10:39,217 --> 00:10:40,217 Rick bud, cause like, 438 00:10:40,261 --> 00:10:41,481 you wouldn't fit through the cracks, 439 00:10:41,522 --> 00:10:43,222 so I'm kind of leaving without you, 440 00:10:44,304 --> 00:10:45,344 but you're a good guy to me, 441 00:10:45,391 --> 00:10:46,521 you know, like, 442 00:10:46,565 --> 00:10:47,355 kind of a brother. 443 00:10:47,391 --> 00:10:49,831 So don't cry for me, Ricky, 444 00:10:49,869 --> 00:10:50,699 I'm already gone. 445 00:10:53,130 --> 00:10:55,400 [grunting] 446 00:10:57,217 --> 00:10:59,437 [grunting] 447 00:11:01,174 --> 00:11:03,434 [grunting] 448 00:11:07,217 --> 00:11:09,137 - Ugh! Son of a bitch. 449 00:11:09,174 --> 00:11:10,004 - Ugh! Holy fuck! 450 00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:11,957 Oh, fuck. 451 00:11:14,217 --> 00:11:15,007 Oh, fuck! 452 00:11:15,043 --> 00:11:15,913 Help! Me tight! 453 00:11:17,348 --> 00:11:18,168 Ahh! 454 00:11:18,217 --> 00:11:19,517 Oh, fuck! 455 00:11:19,565 --> 00:11:20,395 Ricky! 456 00:11:22,304 --> 00:11:23,864 Ricky! 457 00:11:23,912 --> 00:11:25,262 Guys! 458 00:11:25,304 --> 00:11:27,174 Oh, fuck! 459 00:11:27,217 --> 00:11:28,877 I'm in the walls! 460 00:11:28,912 --> 00:11:30,222 Help! 461 00:11:30,261 --> 00:11:31,041 Help! 462 00:11:32,478 --> 00:11:33,998 Help! 463 00:11:34,043 --> 00:11:36,263 [Coughing] 464 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:39,130 - Well pretty much figure I'll just 465 00:11:39,174 --> 00:11:41,224 enjoy my privacy tonight, and 466 00:11:41,261 --> 00:11:43,791 hopefully, you know, once I lose a pound or two, 467 00:11:43,825 --> 00:11:45,345 I can wiggle my way back out. 468 00:11:46,609 --> 00:11:48,349 Fuck's sakes. 469 00:11:48,391 --> 00:11:49,911 The good news is I fuckin' 470 00:11:49,956 --> 00:11:50,996 have a little hiding hole 471 00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:52,653 to hang out on my own. 472 00:11:52,696 --> 00:11:54,786 The bad news is I ain't really that free. 473 00:11:58,043 --> 00:12:00,963 [insects chirring] 474 00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:04,348 So yeah, like, 475 00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:05,781 I spent a whole day and a half there 476 00:12:05,825 --> 00:12:07,005 fuckin' stuck in the wall 477 00:12:07,043 --> 00:12:08,263 and I was like 478 00:12:08,304 --> 00:12:09,174 kind of panicking. 479 00:12:09,217 --> 00:12:10,607 Thought maybe I was gonna die. 480 00:12:10,652 --> 00:12:12,132 And then like, you know, outta nowhere 481 00:12:12,174 --> 00:12:14,564 this little rat kind of came up to me and I, 482 00:12:14,609 --> 00:12:15,829 you know, I think it almost might have like, 483 00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:16,949 kickstarted my heart 484 00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:18,430 on the final beat. 485 00:12:18,478 --> 00:12:20,088 Found a little buddy down here, keep him, 486 00:12:20,130 --> 00:12:22,390 keeping me safe, keeping me warm. 487 00:12:22,435 --> 00:12:23,785 And you know, it kind of like, 488 00:12:23,825 --> 00:12:25,005 gave him a little name here. 489 00:12:25,043 --> 00:12:26,953 Little Ricky kind of reminds me of Ricky. 490 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:27,780 You know? 491 00:12:27,825 --> 00:12:28,965 Like he's got feisty sort of 492 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:29,910 feisty spirit. 493 00:12:29,956 --> 00:12:30,906 [sniffing] 494 00:12:30,956 --> 00:12:31,736 You smell that? 495 00:12:31,782 --> 00:12:33,312 You smelling for some hash? 496 00:12:33,348 --> 00:12:34,308 [rat squeaks] 497 00:12:34,348 --> 00:12:35,268 Yeah, I wish I had some too, bud. 498 00:12:36,391 --> 00:12:38,221 You wanna come back with me to jail? 499 00:12:38,261 --> 00:12:39,041 [rat squeaks] 500 00:12:39,087 --> 00:12:39,867 What's that? 501 00:12:39,912 --> 00:12:40,702 [rat squeaks] 502 00:12:40,739 --> 00:12:41,999 Oh no, you're a free spirit. 503 00:12:42,043 --> 00:12:43,083 - Yes. I was gone. 504 00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:44,530 I was gone for 40 days and 40 nights. 505 00:12:44,565 --> 00:12:46,475 And Ricky Brown was serving his time 506 00:12:46,522 --> 00:12:47,562 in the prisons. 507 00:12:47,609 --> 00:12:49,779 Now Ricky Brown would like to consider 508 00:12:49,825 --> 00:12:51,475 the fact that since the prison was named 509 00:12:51,522 --> 00:12:52,872 the South Garden Penitentiary 510 00:12:52,912 --> 00:12:54,172 he was spending 40 days and 40 nights 511 00:12:54,217 --> 00:12:55,397 in the garden. 512 00:12:55,435 --> 00:12:57,485 And I find that no coincidence whatsoever. 513 00:12:57,522 --> 00:13:00,652 Jesus Christ of course was somewhat of criminal himself. 514 00:13:00,696 --> 00:13:02,216 And sometimes we let ourselves go 515 00:13:02,261 --> 00:13:05,311 and we need to take the time for ourselves. 516 00:13:05,348 --> 00:13:07,358 Whether or not that's time that has been slapped 517 00:13:07,391 --> 00:13:09,221 upon us by a corrupt police department or 518 00:13:09,261 --> 00:13:11,351 or simply because a man is black 519 00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:15,011 or because the man might wanna go on his own. 520 00:13:15,043 --> 00:13:17,133 The fact is is that 521 00:13:17,174 --> 00:13:18,264 while I was there 522 00:13:18,304 --> 00:13:20,354 Ricky Brown had time to reflect. 523 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:23,000 He had time to think. 524 00:13:23,043 --> 00:13:24,393 He had time to, to 525 00:13:24,435 --> 00:13:25,695 to consider 526 00:13:25,738 --> 00:13:29,098 new ways of bring the Lord into your house. 527 00:13:30,217 --> 00:13:32,437 I'd like to bring your attention 528 00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:34,048 to Leviticus! 529 00:13:34,087 --> 00:13:36,087 Verse 24. 530 00:13:36,130 --> 00:13:37,350 Uh, uh. 531 00:13:37,391 --> 00:13:39,001 Number 12. 532 00:13:39,043 --> 00:13:41,223 [clears throat] 533 00:13:41,261 --> 00:13:42,921 and Leviticus tells us 534 00:13:42,956 --> 00:13:44,216 Fuck this Bible, man. 535 00:13:45,609 --> 00:13:46,659 Who's fuckin' with my- 536 00:13:48,043 --> 00:13:48,913 [clears throat] 537 00:13:48,956 --> 00:13:52,086 Leviticus 12, book 24. 538 00:13:52,130 --> 00:13:53,000 [stutters] 539 00:13:53,043 --> 00:13:55,873 [clears throat] 540 00:13:55,912 --> 00:13:58,002 This aint even the right shit, man. 541 00:14:00,696 --> 00:14:01,476 [slams book pages] 542 00:14:01,522 --> 00:14:02,652 Forget that. 543 00:14:02,696 --> 00:14:04,086 Listen man, Ricky Brown. 544 00:14:04,130 --> 00:14:04,960 Listen, Rick. 545 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:05,730 The, the fact is that 546 00:14:05,782 --> 00:14:07,392 that Ricky Brown lives in, 547 00:14:07,435 --> 00:14:08,565 he goes to prison. 548 00:14:08,609 --> 00:14:09,699 He comes back to prison. 549 00:14:09,738 --> 00:14:11,778 The, I don't give a fuck what anyone say. 550 00:14:11,825 --> 00:14:12,605 All right? 551 00:14:12,652 --> 00:14:13,792 Anyone can judge me. 552 00:14:13,825 --> 00:14:14,435 A lot of people 553 00:14:14,478 --> 00:14:15,658 Judge Ricky Brown 554 00:14:15,696 --> 00:14:17,526 on his first couple shows will tell you what 555 00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:19,525 Ricky b- got the balls 556 00:14:19,565 --> 00:14:20,875 and the nuts to come up in here. 557 00:14:20,912 --> 00:14:22,922 And he got the balls of Delilah 558 00:14:22,956 --> 00:14:24,566 and he got the dick of Samson 559 00:14:24,609 --> 00:14:25,739 and he come up on stage 560 00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:28,002 and he has the audacity to, to 561 00:14:28,043 --> 00:14:31,223 to come and, and, and, and, and, 562 00:14:31,261 --> 00:14:32,791 [stutters] 563 00:14:32,825 --> 00:14:33,605 Man, fuck, man. 564 00:14:33,652 --> 00:14:35,082 This shit is hard. 565 00:14:35,130 --> 00:14:38,170 [clears throat] 566 00:14:38,217 --> 00:14:40,697 Deuteronomy 23. Number 1. 567 00:14:40,738 --> 00:14:42,958 He, that is wounded in the stones 568 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:45,400 or hath his privy member removed 569 00:14:45,435 --> 00:14:46,395 shall not be welcomed 570 00:14:46,435 --> 00:14:47,215 in the church. 571 00:14:47,261 --> 00:14:48,001 Basically what that means is 572 00:14:48,043 --> 00:14:49,353 Ricky Brown has big balls 573 00:14:49,391 --> 00:14:50,441 and he's welcomed in the church. 574 00:14:50,478 --> 00:14:51,218 You get no balls, 575 00:14:51,261 --> 00:14:53,131 you get the fuck out. 576 00:14:53,174 --> 00:14:53,994 All right? 577 00:14:54,043 --> 00:14:55,433 Ricky has a, uh, 578 00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:56,478 couldn't be here. 579 00:14:57,391 --> 00:14:58,221 I mean, I'm sorry 580 00:14:58,261 --> 00:14:59,391 if you have testicular cancer, 581 00:14:59,435 --> 00:15:00,655 I guess that means you're not 582 00:15:00,695 --> 00:15:02,385 allowed in church either, but you know, we'll, 583 00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:04,955 we'll pray for you on your speedy recovery. 584 00:15:06,261 --> 00:15:07,821 Let us hang our head in prayer. 585 00:15:13,782 --> 00:15:16,392 [drink pouring] 586 00:15:17,348 --> 00:15:19,908 [swallowing] 587 00:15:19,956 --> 00:15:22,826 [snorting] 588 00:15:22,869 --> 00:15:23,699 Lord. We are 589 00:15:25,217 --> 00:15:26,617 generally thankful that 590 00:15:27,478 --> 00:15:28,558 Is it hot in here? 591 00:15:28,609 --> 00:15:29,649 [clears throat] 592 00:15:29,695 --> 00:15:31,175 We're generally thankful that. Uh. 593 00:15:33,217 --> 00:15:34,347 Lord, if you'll, uh. 594 00:15:37,912 --> 00:15:40,302 Lord let us hang our head in prayer. 595 00:15:40,348 --> 00:15:41,178 We can 596 00:15:43,912 --> 00:15:44,692 be able, 597 00:15:44,738 --> 00:15:46,088 excuse me for a minute. 598 00:15:46,130 --> 00:15:47,910 This is all part of the. 599 00:15:47,956 --> 00:15:48,786 Huh. 600 00:15:50,043 --> 00:15:52,483 [swallowing] 601 00:15:56,348 --> 00:15:57,488 [cleaning throat] 602 00:15:57,522 --> 00:15:59,092 Ladies and gentlemen we have a 603 00:15:59,130 --> 00:16:02,830 [banging and bumping noise] 604 00:16:06,261 --> 00:16:10,481 [background organ music continues] 605 00:16:13,043 --> 00:16:14,603 [snorting] 606 00:16:14,652 --> 00:16:16,952 [snorting] 607 00:16:34,652 --> 00:16:36,952 [snorting] 608 00:16:49,738 --> 00:16:50,518 Huh? 609 00:16:50,565 --> 00:16:51,345 What's up? 610 00:16:51,391 --> 00:16:53,441 [mumbles] 611 00:16:54,565 --> 00:16:56,305 Little too fast. Sometimes I come on 612 00:16:56,348 --> 00:16:57,218 [mumbles] 613 00:16:57,261 --> 00:17:00,001 I just 614 00:17:00,043 --> 00:17:02,183 [mumbles] 615 00:17:05,087 --> 00:17:07,267 [mumbles] 616 00:17:11,130 --> 00:17:12,000 Oh! 617 00:17:22,435 --> 00:17:25,395 - [Man Off Stage] Doing okay, Ricky? 618 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:34,920 - Deuteronomy, uh, ver, 619 00:17:34,956 --> 00:17:36,046 chapter 25. 620 00:17:36,087 --> 00:17:36,957 When you 621 00:17:38,565 --> 00:17:40,045 go through your neighbor's vineyard, 622 00:17:40,087 --> 00:17:42,697 you may eat as many a grapes as you wish 623 00:17:42,738 --> 00:17:44,738 but do not put them in your basket. 624 00:17:52,956 --> 00:17:54,526 Is the time, is it lunchtime yet? 625 00:18:01,695 --> 00:18:04,265 I'm gonna just use the, step off for a minute. 626 00:18:09,043 --> 00:18:10,303 - Hey, this is Bubbles. 627 00:18:10,348 --> 00:18:12,518 Welcome to kitty of the week. 628 00:18:12,565 --> 00:18:13,865 [Bubbles laughs] 629 00:18:13,912 --> 00:18:15,732 [cats meowing] 630 00:18:15,782 --> 00:18:16,952 [cats purring] 631 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:19,390 Hey, welcome to kitty of the week. 632 00:18:19,435 --> 00:18:21,445 We're at the Bide Awhile Shelter here again. 633 00:18:21,478 --> 00:18:23,998 We got an excellent kitty being featured this week. 634 00:18:24,043 --> 00:18:25,603 This guy here. 635 00:18:25,651 --> 00:18:27,001 Look at this guy! 636 00:18:27,043 --> 00:18:28,613 [Bubbles laughs] 637 00:18:28,651 --> 00:18:31,001 He doesn't have a name yet, so 638 00:18:31,043 --> 00:18:32,523 you know, you can give him your own 639 00:18:32,565 --> 00:18:34,215 or you can ask me to give him one, 640 00:18:34,261 --> 00:18:36,001 which I will happily do. 641 00:18:36,043 --> 00:18:38,433 If I was keeping to myself, 642 00:18:38,478 --> 00:18:39,298 I would call him 643 00:18:39,348 --> 00:18:40,218 Blacky Lawless, 644 00:18:40,261 --> 00:18:41,091 cause he's 645 00:18:41,130 --> 00:18:42,830 he kind of does what he wants. 646 00:18:42,869 --> 00:18:44,089 He's a feisty little guy. 647 00:18:44,130 --> 00:18:45,920 So he's gonna need, 648 00:18:45,956 --> 00:18:48,306 you know, he's gonna need something. 649 00:18:48,348 --> 00:18:51,128 Let's see if he's into scratchin' 650 00:18:51,174 --> 00:18:52,734 You wanna get into a scratcher? 651 00:18:52,782 --> 00:18:55,042 Look, I'll just wrap this right around ya. 652 00:18:55,087 --> 00:18:55,917 No, he's not. 653 00:18:55,956 --> 00:18:57,356 See? You can tell right away. 654 00:18:58,261 --> 00:18:59,171 He's not into scratchin'. 655 00:18:59,217 --> 00:19:01,087 Although he does enjoy belly work. 656 00:19:01,130 --> 00:19:02,090 I noticed if you 657 00:19:03,043 --> 00:19:04,863 if you get him here like this 658 00:19:04,912 --> 00:19:05,652 and you just give him tugs 659 00:19:05,695 --> 00:19:06,875 on his belly. 660 00:19:06,912 --> 00:19:07,912 Like that, see that? 661 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:10,090 He calms right down. 662 00:19:10,130 --> 00:19:11,180 He enjoys belly work. 663 00:19:11,217 --> 00:19:12,517 That's a, 664 00:19:12,565 --> 00:19:13,865 that's a sign of a good kitty. 665 00:19:13,912 --> 00:19:15,732 If you can give him tugs on his belly like that. 666 00:19:15,782 --> 00:19:17,002 And he likes that. 667 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,350 Tugga tugga tugga tugga tugga 668 00:19:20,391 --> 00:19:21,521 [Bubbles laughs] 669 00:19:21,565 --> 00:19:22,385 He likes that. 670 00:19:22,435 --> 00:19:23,475 Maybe you need some nip. 671 00:19:24,130 --> 00:19:25,350 Maybe some nip. 672 00:19:25,391 --> 00:19:26,871 Well, you're already pretty fired up though. 673 00:19:28,217 --> 00:19:30,517 Let's see what I got in the tackle trunk here. 674 00:19:31,608 --> 00:19:33,478 How about green mousey? 675 00:19:33,522 --> 00:19:34,122 Oh yeah. 676 00:19:34,174 --> 00:19:35,134 That got your 677 00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:37,214 That got your attention, didn't it? 678 00:19:38,087 --> 00:19:39,037 Green mousey. 679 00:19:40,217 --> 00:19:41,257 No. 680 00:19:41,304 --> 00:19:42,564 Nope. 681 00:19:42,608 --> 00:19:44,738 See that's exactly why I call him Blacky Lawless. 682 00:19:44,782 --> 00:19:45,562 He just does 683 00:19:47,043 --> 00:19:49,003 The natural laws of kitty physics 684 00:19:49,043 --> 00:19:51,483 don't really apply to this guy. 685 00:19:51,522 --> 00:19:53,002 He just does his own thing. 686 00:19:54,043 --> 00:19:55,173 [Bubble chuckles] 687 00:19:55,217 --> 00:19:56,307 but he's an excellent 688 00:19:56,348 --> 00:19:57,308 look at him 689 00:19:57,348 --> 00:19:58,088 He's just 690 00:19:58,130 --> 00:19:59,350 He likes it all. 691 00:19:59,391 --> 00:20:01,741 Well, you can just give him tugs everywhere. 692 00:20:01,782 --> 00:20:02,742 He's definitely a 693 00:20:02,782 --> 00:20:05,432 Bubble certified kitty right there. 694 00:20:05,478 --> 00:20:06,658 Blacky Lawless. 695 00:20:12,956 --> 00:20:15,266 [cat meows] 696 00:20:16,304 --> 00:20:16,954 - Remember how I always wanted 697 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,000 to fight a grizzly bear? 698 00:20:18,043 --> 00:20:18,873 And I was thinking about getting one 699 00:20:18,912 --> 00:20:19,702 as a pet so that 700 00:20:19,738 --> 00:20:20,868 I could practice on it 701 00:20:20,912 --> 00:20:21,652 as it's growing 702 00:20:21,695 --> 00:20:22,955 growing bigger. 703 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,140 Eventually I'd be able to fight him full on. 704 00:20:25,174 --> 00:20:26,524 No. 705 00:20:26,565 --> 00:20:28,045 Do you know that a grizzly bear's bite 706 00:20:28,087 --> 00:20:28,907 is strong enough to 707 00:20:28,956 --> 00:20:30,646 crush a fuckin' bowling ball? 708 00:20:31,608 --> 00:20:32,438 - Jesus. 709 00:20:32,478 --> 00:20:33,478 - [Ricky] I don't know what 710 00:20:33,522 --> 00:20:34,212 a bowling ball's made out of, but 711 00:20:34,261 --> 00:20:35,131 - A grizzly bear? 712 00:20:35,174 --> 00:20:35,654 - [Ricky] It seems pretty hard. 713 00:20:35,695 --> 00:20:36,825 - Oh my God. 714 00:20:36,869 --> 00:20:38,559 A grizzly bear can bite a bowling ball? 715 00:20:38,608 --> 00:20:39,778 - Crush it. 716 00:20:39,825 --> 00:20:40,955 Turn it to dust. 717 00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,000 - How could his teeth be that strong? 718 00:20:43,043 --> 00:20:43,913 Bowling balls are made outta 719 00:20:43,956 --> 00:20:45,436 - Super teeth. 720 00:20:45,478 --> 00:20:46,788 - They're made outta stone. 721 00:20:46,825 --> 00:20:48,695 They're made of, like, marble or whatever. 722 00:20:48,738 --> 00:20:50,348 - They must drink a lot of milk. 723 00:20:51,782 --> 00:20:52,572 - Milk doesn't 724 00:20:52,608 --> 00:20:53,308 - Strong teeth. 725 00:20:53,348 --> 00:20:54,218 - give you strong teeth. 726 00:20:54,261 --> 00:20:56,521 Like that type of strong teeth. 727 00:20:56,564 --> 00:20:58,824 - Why the fuck isn't this cooking to the even? 728 00:21:00,261 --> 00:21:02,261 - Ricky, why don't. Ugh, Jesus. 729 00:21:03,435 --> 00:21:05,655 Forget my, forget my half quick fry. 730 00:21:05,695 --> 00:21:07,215 - I'm not, I'm not having any of that. 731 00:21:07,261 --> 00:21:08,871 - I don't want a half quick fry any more. 732 00:21:08,912 --> 00:21:10,652 - And then little Mo wanted a Clownfish. 733 00:21:11,825 --> 00:21:13,475 So I'm like, okay, do you want a fuckin' 734 00:21:13,522 --> 00:21:15,132 boy or girl? 735 00:21:15,174 --> 00:21:16,564 And he said, they're only 736 00:21:16,608 --> 00:21:17,648 there's only boy 737 00:21:17,695 --> 00:21:18,525 Clownfishes. 738 00:21:18,564 --> 00:21:19,874 They all get born to boy, 739 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:21,740 which I didn't know. 740 00:21:21,782 --> 00:21:22,872 And I guess it's true. 741 00:21:22,912 --> 00:21:25,522 But some of them do turn to females to 742 00:21:25,564 --> 00:21:26,874 enable mating 743 00:21:26,912 --> 00:21:28,432 - So their wieners fall off? 744 00:21:29,478 --> 00:21:30,868 - I don't know how it works. 745 00:21:30,912 --> 00:21:33,002 I'd like to get one, to see it in action. 746 00:21:33,043 --> 00:21:34,083 - Well, they're Clownfish, 747 00:21:34,130 --> 00:21:34,960 so he probably just goes, 748 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:35,470 [makes whoosh noise] 749 00:21:35,522 --> 00:21:36,612 "Surprise!" 750 00:21:36,651 --> 00:21:37,431 - [Ricky] And then I was thinking about 751 00:21:37,478 --> 00:21:38,258 maybe getting 752 00:21:38,304 --> 00:21:39,134 an Armadillo 753 00:21:39,174 --> 00:21:41,004 just to have a unique pet. 754 00:21:41,043 --> 00:21:42,093 - [Julian] Why? 755 00:21:42,130 --> 00:21:43,390 - Because they're cool looking and 756 00:21:43,435 --> 00:21:44,655 apparently they're friendly 757 00:21:44,695 --> 00:21:45,735 and they like to snuggle. 758 00:21:46,695 --> 00:21:47,875 - It says they like to snuggle? 759 00:21:47,912 --> 00:21:49,832 - [Ricky] No, I, I just think they might. 760 00:21:49,869 --> 00:21:53,919 But anyway, these Nine Banded bastards, they always 761 00:21:53,956 --> 00:21:58,096 give birth to identical quadruplets. 762 00:21:58,130 --> 00:21:59,130 Every fuckin' time. 763 00:21:59,174 --> 00:22:00,394 Identical quadruplets. 764 00:22:00,435 --> 00:22:01,645 So if I got a fuckin' 765 00:22:01,695 --> 00:22:02,515 Armadillo 766 00:22:02,564 --> 00:22:03,994 I can't have four babies. 767 00:22:04,043 --> 00:22:04,913 It'd be fucked. 768 00:22:05,956 --> 00:22:06,746 And I have all 769 00:22:06,782 --> 00:22:07,952 of a sudden five fuckin' 770 00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:08,780 - Yeah. 771 00:22:08,825 --> 00:22:09,875 cocksuckers running around. 772 00:22:09,912 --> 00:22:10,782 - It would be fucked. 773 00:22:10,825 --> 00:22:12,955 - The fuck is he talking about? 774 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:14,220 - I'm not getting an Armadillo. 775 00:22:14,261 --> 00:22:15,951 - Don't get a fuckin' Armadillo then, Ricky. 776 00:22:17,348 --> 00:22:18,518 Where would you even find an Armadillo around here? 777 00:22:18,564 --> 00:22:19,394 - You know what? 778 00:22:19,435 --> 00:22:20,225 This fuckin'. 779 00:22:20,261 --> 00:22:21,001 You don't need a microwave. 780 00:22:21,043 --> 00:22:21,873 Look at this shit. 781 00:22:21,912 --> 00:22:22,522 That's the best thing in here. 782 00:22:22,564 --> 00:22:23,694 - What is? 783 00:22:23,738 --> 00:22:25,608 - The sweet and sour fuckin' concoction. 784 00:22:25,651 --> 00:22:26,821 Fuck microwaves! 785 00:22:26,869 --> 00:22:27,649 Microwaves can suck my cock. 786 00:22:27,695 --> 00:22:28,915 I was gonna buy another one? 787 00:22:28,956 --> 00:22:29,646 - Why don't you just smash everything up, man. 788 00:22:29,695 --> 00:22:30,775 - [Bubbles] I know Ricky, 789 00:22:30,825 --> 00:22:32,695 but you would've had it cooked long ago. 790 00:22:32,738 --> 00:22:34,918 - [Ricky] These egg rolls are taking forever. 791 00:22:34,956 --> 00:22:36,006 - This guy, Sergeant Rizzle says, 792 00:22:36,043 --> 00:22:38,653 "What kind of car does Ricky drive?" 793 00:22:38,695 --> 00:22:42,485 - 1975 Chrysler New Yorker. 794 00:22:42,521 --> 00:22:44,351 I like big cars. 795 00:22:44,391 --> 00:22:45,691 - [Bubbles in A raspy voice] I like big cars 796 00:22:45,738 --> 00:22:47,358 and I don't know why 797 00:22:47,391 --> 00:22:48,781 [Bubbles laughs] 798 00:22:48,825 --> 00:22:49,615 Get it? 799 00:22:49,651 --> 00:22:51,001 - Yeah, I get it Bubs. 800 00:22:51,043 --> 00:22:52,873 - Okay, boys, well. 801 00:22:52,912 --> 00:22:54,652 - [Ricky in a deeper Voice] My name is Ricky. 802 00:22:54,695 --> 00:22:56,005 I'm tricky. 803 00:22:56,043 --> 00:22:57,353 - All right. 804 00:22:57,391 --> 00:22:58,431 - That would be uh. 805 00:22:58,478 --> 00:22:59,258 [Bubbles In A Raspy Voice] I'm Ricky, 806 00:22:59,304 --> 00:23:00,134 I walk around. 807 00:23:00,174 --> 00:23:00,914 I smoked some dope. 808 00:23:00,956 --> 00:23:01,956 I walk around 809 00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:03,790 - [Bubbles And Ricky Both] I'm Ricky. 810 00:23:03,825 --> 00:23:05,135 - I'm Ricky, Ricky, Ricky, Ricky. 811 00:23:05,174 --> 00:23:06,084 - All right, boys, on that note, this, 812 00:23:06,130 --> 00:23:07,000 it's time to end this. 813 00:23:07,043 --> 00:23:08,003 We gotta go now. 814 00:23:08,043 --> 00:23:08,963 - Why? 815 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:09,870 - It's time's up. 816 00:23:09,912 --> 00:23:11,442 Perfect timing, now we can eat. 817 00:23:11,478 --> 00:23:12,998 - [Bubbles] Okay, well get, like, 818 00:23:13,043 --> 00:23:14,733 get, serving her up! 819 00:23:14,782 --> 00:23:15,872 - Try this shit. 820 00:23:15,912 --> 00:23:17,042 Fuck. 821 00:23:17,087 --> 00:23:19,097 - Ricky, you're gonna eat with the tongs. 822 00:23:19,130 --> 00:23:21,000 - I was going to, but it didn't work right. 823 00:23:21,043 --> 00:23:22,653 Oh, fuck, that's still on! 824 00:23:23,695 --> 00:23:24,525 - [Julian] You dumb ass. 825 00:23:24,564 --> 00:23:25,394 [Ricky laughs] 826 00:23:25,435 --> 00:23:26,305 - Fuck, man. That sucked. 827 00:23:26,348 --> 00:23:27,958 - You're gonna burn yourself. 828 00:23:29,825 --> 00:23:30,605 How is it? 829 00:23:31,651 --> 00:23:33,611 - It is fuckin' good. 830 00:23:33,651 --> 00:23:34,951 - All right, well, 831 00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:37,300 tune in next week when Ricky has food poisoning. 832 00:23:37,350 --> 00:23:41,900 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0